one lame ass bitch ~

clestroying:

When you accidentally touch the cashiers’ hand when you’re giving the money

image

dearborns:

foxnewsofficial:

they should replace hospital gowns with colourful mexican ponchos because they’re kinda similar and no one could be sad 

if we’re gonna die let’s die looking like a peruvian folk band

prussianinamerica:

I had a teacher who refused to let any of us say “its okay” because of this exact reason.

prussianinamerica:

I had a teacher who refused to let any of us say “its okay” because of this exact reason.

Let’s make Dean in gym shorts the most reblogged picture on Tumblr.

smilefor-medarling:

Some of these are so awkward, and some are great, and there’s that one with the dad that’s just 100% heartbreaking.

the-robot-condese:

tiny-little-nebula:

taloa-nashoba:

thatthirstyniggafromclass:

misconceptions about strippers. 

pussy preach more sense than the fuckin government.

I want to break necks when people shade strippers. Let’s see your janky ass get out there and look that cute in 6 inch heels for 8 hours, smiling the entire time, stroking egos, pretending a dude’s breath doesn’t smell like a rotten animal.

Truth.

My sister has a Masters in Education. She got a job at one of the poorest schools in the city, but didn’t make enough money to pay to keep her tiny house heated through the Oregon winter or buy enough food or take her dog to the vet (first person who drops the word rehome gets a kick in the face.) so she quit and the only job she could get because she’s “overqualified” to work at Fred Meyers was at a strip club because she minored in ballet. I think people forget that stripping is like any other job: you have to have some experience.

And all those crumpled one dollar bills? 20% of that goes back into the club because strippers are renting the stages they dance on. Sometimes it’s more.

Despite all of that, my sister makes more money than she ever did because she works 80 hour weeks and literally never takes a day off. She teaches classes to drunk white girls, she does private parties, she does entertainment for conferences and shows. 

When I had to go to the ER last February and got a bill for $800 that I couldn’t pay, my sister sent me money so I wouldn’t be sent to collections. 

My sister is the classiest motherfucker in a pair of six inch heels. Anyone who calls her a dumb slut or a hoe gets their shit wrecked.

that’s the best thing i ever just heard get said

thatcurlyhurdgirl:

I will reblog this everyday

thatcurlyhurdgirl:

I will reblog this everyday

stickysheep:

onlylolgifs:

Accidentally hurting someone vs. accidentally hurting an animal

same

tourettesandsex:

urbies:

xbostons:

lostboyonadeadthrone:

If your girlfriend has sexual intercourse with another girl. Is that considered cheating? 

If I’m right handed and I punch you with my left, did I really hit you?

image

I’ll reblog this every time.

ewmartin:

crazy-jensenackles-fangirl:

so apparently people talk to their pets in baby voices, but when i see my cat i’m just like ‘hey brad’ and he’s like ‘meow’ and the conversation is over.

I don’t know why but for some reason the fact that your cat’s name is brad is hilarious to me

roborenard:

absolutely destroy the idea that you have to be loved romantically and love romantically

destroy the idea that the end goal of life is to get into a romantic relationship/marriage

romantic love isn’t a requirement to live life and it never will be

cindehella:

cinematic masterpiece