one lame ass bitch ~

sugarnymphet:

you know when youre having sex, or giving head, and they whisper fuuuck

yeah thats probably one of the greatest moments in life

boy moans give me life. they fuel me

ex0skeletal:

Fun shark attack facts:

  • In 1996, toilets injured 43,000 Americans a year. Sharks injured 13.
  • In 1996, 2,600 Americans were injured by room fresheners. Sharks injured 13.
  • In 1996, buckets and pails injured almost 11,000 Americans. Sharks injured 13.
  • For every human killed by a shark, humans kill approximately two million sharks.

Conclusions:

  1. Humans are assholes.
  2. Sharks are not assholes.
  3. Apparently everyone in 1996 lived in a real-life infomercial.

sharkhugger:

HUGGERS… meet the Shy Shark!  THIS IS A THING!  THIS IS REALLY A THING….! 

450 millions years of evolution and 'if i can't see it, it can't hurt me' is the best they could come up with!  WAY too adorable!  

You know, there are so many other jawsome sharks out there - shark week shouldn’t just focus on the white shark.  I love a good breach as much as the next shark lover, but these guys are too cute!  <3

lggyzalea:

freshmen advice: y’all know bout high school musical right?? well that shit is legit. better get practicing. everyday at lunch we go hard af. stick to the status quo.

dadfunkadelic:

no godsno masters

dadfunkadelic:

no gods
no masters

1. Don’t try to piss quietly. Nobody in a public restroom thinks you’re knitting in your stall. They came to piss, just like you. And if you have to take a dump, do it. Get over your fear of public toilets. It’ll make life a lot easier.

2. Masturbate. Masturbate a lot. Talk about it with your friends. You’ve got the right to make yourself feel good and brag about it just like all the boys with extra large kleenex packages on their desks.

3. If you want the large fries, get the large fries. Hunger and appetite are nothing to be ashamed of, just human. Don’t ever feel guilty for eating in front of others. You need to nourish your body to stay alive. We all do.

4. Laugh as loud as you have to, no matter if you snort or gasp or literally scream.

5. Fart when you have to.

6. Always remember you weren’t born to visually please others. Forget the phrase “what if they think it’s ugly”. If you think it’s lovely, it is lovely. You wanna wear it, wear it!

7. Speak your mind! You can learn to do so without insulting others or shoving your opinion down other people’s throats.

Seven Simple Ways To Free Yourself, from girl to girl (via notcapableoflove)

idreamofjimmy:

Sheen Estevez, Ace Attorney

ohitssparkling:

oh my god i’m in love with him

ohitssparkling:

oh my god i’m in love with him

thefutureauthor:

*whispers* Mulan, Merida, and Rapunzel didn’t have men saving them

*regular voice* Lilo and Nani’s sisterly love for each other was a big point in their movie

*slightly aggravated voice* Enchanted questioned marrying a man you hardly know

*shouting* FROZEN ISN’T THE FIRST MOVIE TO HAVE THESE POINTS

ariturl:

OVEN BAKING. HEAVY BREATHING. DONT GIVE A FUCK IF ITS CARBS THAT  IM EATING.

ariturl:

OVEN BAKING. HEAVY BREATHING. DONT GIVE A FUCK IF ITS CARBS THAT  IM EATING.

drxcos:

i hate when people r like “do you like them? oooh you’re blushing you do!!!” like, no you cold corndog im fucking blushing bc you’re embarrassing me and making me uncomfortable

rneatbicycle:

that’s what little girls are made of

rneatbicycle:

that’s what little girls are made of

grubsludge:

funk-dabble:

littleleahlamb2k14:

grubsludge:

bury me in armor so I’ll be ready for the skeleton war

image

ready

why is his fricking chest uncovered? that’s ppor planning right there

what are you gonna do?

stab a skeleton in the heart?